You Will Have Trouble, But. . .

Published March 27, 2012 by theprioritymale

By Cari Andreani

“In this world you will have trouble, but take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Oh such good news isn’t it? If you have been married for any amount of time, you know- you are going to have troubles! I am reminded with this verse to take heart, Jesus has overcome the troubles of the world and with Him- all things are possible.

Are you having troubles in your marriage? Seek God and His Word. Call out to other believers to pray for you. Bathe in His presence in worship. God will answer. He will provide peace. And He will work in your marriage if you let Him.

Readings I suggest:

Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn

And of course- your Bible. Don’t know where to start?

  • Proverbs gives wisdom (and don’t we all need more of that!)
  • Psalms covers every emotion laid before God, cry out to Him through the Psalms.
  • The Gospel of John is about the story of Jesus.
  • I am studying the book of James, which is short, but packed of lots of learning.
  • Romans is another great book by the apostle Paul (my favorite apostle!).

Pray and just start reading. Listen- and God will show up J


Your Kids are Watching!

Published March 23, 2012 by theprioritymale

By Cari Andreani

Some things we intentionally teach our children. Other things they learn by observing. Teaching our children about marriage is important. But what are we showing them about marriage?

Doug Fields (pastor and author) writes the top 10 things he knows his kids have learned by watching his marriage to his wife of 26 years, Cathy. As I read over this list, I hope I am showing the same. What are you teaching your kids about marriage? What area can you work on today?

Top 10 things:

1. Affection: Cathy & I are very affectionate and I like having my kids see me holding their mom’s hand, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc… as often as I can.

2. Saying “I’m sorry”: I want to be quick to use this phrase and I want my kids to hear me say it (and I have to say it a lot more than Cathy).

3. Affirmation: this is my primary love language so it’s easy for me to dish out encouraging words. My kids get a lot of verbal affirmation, but they also hear me directing it toward my wife (which is really easy).

4. Attraction: I think Cathy is hot… and, I make it known around our family. I’ll regularly say, “Isn’t your mom beautiful?”

5. Time: our kids know that we like to spend time together. When they see us steal time away to sit in the backyard and talk, or go in the hot tub, or go on a date night, or sneak away for the weekend…that’s a good message I want them to see.

6. Laughter: we laugh a lot in our house and my wife’s cute sense of humor cracks me up. I like having my kids see that my wife makes me laugh.

7. Respect: opening the door for Cathy, saying “thank you” and “please” and showing her simple signs of respect.

8. Faith conversations: we’re not always praying in front of our kids, but they hear and see our faith conversations and know that we’re always talking about Jesus and what it means to be a follower.

9. The value of friends: our house is well worn from the traffic of friends in/out of our house. We love having people over and the Fields’ house is a regular hangout for some incredible friends.

10. Servanthood: I know my kids have had a better example in Cathy than with me because she’s the ultimate servant. Always asking, “How can I help? What do you need to make life better?” Serving one another is seen in the daily, little things and there’s many opportunities to serve.


Was that in the book?

Published March 15, 2012 by theprioritymale

By Melissa Belt

Some people say, “Women are a Mystery”.

I don’t think so.

I think we are pretty candid about what we want. We laugh when things are good, cry when things are bad and ask questions when we don’t understand. Men on the other hand are STILL a mystery…at least to me.

My sweet husband Jamie and I have known each other for over 25 years. He knows me more than I know myself at times! He knows how to gingerly prepare me for bad news, or how to coax me into helping with a chore I totally despise. He surprises me with flowers because he knows they are my favorite guilty pleasure. He makes reservations for my favorite restaurant. He’s just…awesome.  He could write a book  about how to make a woman happy.

I on the other hand, am NOT so good with those things. So, on my quest to be the “most awesome wife ever”, I decided to do some research; you know, “self help” stuff. I mean, I am in stiff competition trying to “out-do” my Honey!

Someone advised me to read Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Basically he discusses the differences between how men and women need love differently. What an eye opener! So, I decided to take some advice from the book…to try to express my love to Jamie differently than what we are used to. Not my usual “lovey dovey” verbiage, but more testosterone filled, masculine RESPECT words! It’s totally foreign to me, but Dr. Eggerichs is the expert. What I told Jamie was heartfelt, but awkward at first. He responded positively!  I asked him if he liked my new “love talk” and he says he does.

By the end of the book, I learned a whole lot more about men than I ever imagined! AND…I earned brownie points with my Honey. So, I suggest you do some research, self help stuff keep striving to keep your man happy. I am still trying, but sometimes  when I tell him how much I love and respect him, in those other manly words, he says to me, “Was that in the book?”

Clueless not Careless

Published March 12, 2012 by theprioritymale

By Jenna Raulerson

I always find that when my husband and I get the most mad, frustrated and angry at each other, God puts us in some situation or causes something to happen to bring some humor. This is something I consider a huge blessing and something I believe is God’s way of shaking us back down to reality when we’ve sometimes gotten a bit ridiculous. This happened to Owen and I recently… bringing some ha-ha in an extremely ironic way!

We were getting ready to go to small group (a meeting with about 10 people from our church) on Sunday night. Everyone was to bring an appetizer. Small group started at 6…

It was 5:10, and no cooking had begun. So needless to say I was frantically slinging ingredients around the kitchen (already irritated with Owen because of a previous conversation.) I still had to get ready, and this “thing” I was making still had to bake for 22-25 minutes.

And there was Owen… all lounged out… in his recliner… with his iPad… watching ESPN… not even offering to help. “THE NERVE!” I thought, as the anger continued to boil up inside of me.

Finally the concoction was put in the oven, and I huffed and puffed myself into the room to get ready, and then into the car to be on our way where Owen finally asked what was wrong. “Don’t you know?” I asked. (I mean don’t men become psychic when they sign a marriage license?)

I proceeded to explain to him I was an erupting volcano because, and only because, he was lounging around and didn’t offer to help when I obviously needed it!

“If you needed help, why didn’t you just ask?” Owen said.

Oh… It’s that easy? That’s it? You mean he wasn’t just ignoring me and being a huge jerk?

We arrived at small group, which happened to be a “Couple’s Shower” for a group member’s daughter. Our pastor suggested each couple go around and give a piece of advice for the bride and the groom… o the irony.

My advice? If you need help from your husband, just ask! Chances are he’s completely oblivious to the fact that you’re in need of his help. It’s not his fault; it’s just the way he’s made. He’s ready and willing, at least he should be, to make your life easier and do anything to make you happy!

It was at that moment I realized God gave me an amazing marriage lesson that day and my sweet, helpful husband was my teacher. What a blessing!

Understanding the Inner Lives of Men

Published March 8, 2012 by theprioritymale

By Melissa Belt

I recently read the book “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn. I found this to be a fascinating “short and to the point” book about the inner lives of men. Shaunti uses national surveys and personal interviews to come to a consensus about what men think about their desires, secrets and fears that most women are clueless about…especially me! There were so many revelations that she describes that could have been about my husband and other men I know. I can honestly say that once I finished reading this book, I have a much better understanding of my sweet husband. It is my desire to love and support Jamie the way God intended, and this book helped me to be more aware of my actions and words and how they affect him.

I recommend this book not only to married women to help grow a deeper relationship with their husbands, but I also feel the information helps me to relate to my son and other men in my life.

Twenty years…and still learning!

Published March 2, 2012 by theprioritymale

By Melissa Belt

Who would have thought 20 years would pass by so quickly…”as but a blink of the eye” some say. Jamie and I have been together since high school, and that seems like just yesterday! We married at the tender age of 20 and now our sweet babies are already teenagers! You would think surely after all of these years we would know each other inside and out…or so I thought! Now don’t get me wrong – we have an awesome relationship! We talk daily; date weekly and we just love to hang out! In a rut? I hardly think so! What amazes me is that after all of this time, I am still learning about him!

Recently, we went to the grocery store together (I can count on one hand the number of times that has happened!). As we leisurely stroll down the chip aisle, Jamie stops and proudly holds up a bag of cheddar cheese ruffles and exclaims, “These are my favorite!” “What???” I think to myself. This is news to me! How could I not know that? Out of all our deeply emotional, intimate long talks, how did this not come up? I mean, his FAVORITE? That is crucial to know!!

All kidding aside…I think it’s awesome how God brings these silly “aha” moments into our lives. It’s like we discover something new and that keeps our marriage fresh and exciting. Let me encourage you do something out of the ordinary and you may find out something new about your man! Who knows…maybe he loves cheddar cheese ruffles, too!

Do yourself a favor, forgive!

Published February 24, 2012 by theprioritymale
Unforgiveness is a huge problem in marriages. But God’s Word is clear. “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Col. 3:13. Forgiveness does not make the other person right, it makes you free! Many times we go around mad for days at a time, while our husbands are oblivious to how we feel inside. He is sleeping just fine, while our bitterness eats us up inside. I heard it put like this: Do yourself a favor, forgive! Do it for you as much as for your husband.
Here are 5 tips for forgiveness that can help from Stu Gray and the “Stupendous Marriage” blog:
1. Think of all the things you need to be forgiven for.
I know, that’s a weird one to start with.  But guess what? You
are not a perfect human being. If you realize your own faults,
and realize that you also need a savior who forgives you, it helps
begin to give perspective on the forgiveness that needs to be given.
2. Realize that they may not have known the depth with
which they hurt you. While Jesus was hanging on the cross,
he said ‘Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.’
Perhaps your spouse doesn’t even realize how much they hurt you.
3. Go to God and ask for His help. Doing the forgiveness
thing on your own, if you have been hurt repeatedly or deeply,
just isn’t possible. Forgiveness is letting go of the responsibility
and giving it to God. Ask God to come and take the hurt and
pain that has been inflicted upon you. When you give it over to
God, hHe takes the burden. Its not that you won’t have memories
or feelings again…but you give up your right to hold on to them and
get even because of them. When you experience those hurts again
as memories (and you will) you have to again, acknowledge them,
but ask God to keep helping you – and let Him take them. They can’t
stay stuck in your mind, or you will end up in resentment or
4. Don’t deny the hurt that has been caused. Even
though you have given it over to God, it’s not pretending that it
didn’t happen. You have to acknowledge the hurt, and work through it.
Perhaps that will take the help of a pastor or counselor, or support
group of safe people where you can work through your feelings.
5. Make a choice to NOT get even. When you forgive, you give
it to God – and you leave Him with the burden. You choose to
move on and operate in love. Forgiveness is a choice. If you don’t forgive,
you end up swirling in your own sick and poisonous thoughts. If
you don’t choose to live out of forgiveness, you will just get sick –
emotionally, mentally and some times, physically. I’m sure you have
heard it said that ‘not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting
the other person to die’. When you forgive, you let them AND
YOURSELF, off the hook, and can move forward toward healing.
Hope this helps! God bless, ladies!